the god of sleep

eight hours of office work, check.
cook dinner, check
wash laundry, check.
wash my shoes, check.

it has been two hours...
i am really not at peace with the god of sleep.

this is good if i am motivated to do my scuptures for december exhibit,
make trinkets as giveaways for christmas, design bags for business,
start reading borrowed books from friends so i can finally return them,
make my own shawl, paint, draw....
i wish i was bored and just think of what i am going to do with my life
instead of thinking where will i start first.

boredom is luxury.
and there is no room for jaded moments
for a pauper like me.
not to mention my zero sick leaves
and only seven days of personal leaves
until the year ends.

darn, i do not want to do anything tonight but my close my eyes
and be at peace with the world.
i deserve some sleep.
i have got to have energy during daytime.

but in a way, this blogging before midnight
help me ponder.
what should i be living for?
where did all my passion go?
where can i get my motivations?

i have a lot of things
to learn.
i should stay focus...

but first, i have to water my new cactus shigi-shigi.